LOTR Frodo Goblet

I just made one of my famous fruit smoothies this evening, and am enjoying it from my LOTR Frodo Goblet (circa 2001). And then had a thought that I would post it as my Facebook status, along with the recipe.

And then I had another thought: Go ahead and post it on your blog that no one reads so you can keep it handy for archival purposes and later reference when you have forgotten how to make it again at the beginning of next summer.

Thus, the topic of this blog post. Here we go.

First off, get your blender ready. Make sure its clean from all the pancake gook that was sitting in it three days ago from your roommate’s experiments in the kitchen.

Next, fill the blender with precisely six (6) ice cubes of medium density. It must not be four(4)  or five (5), but six (6) shall be the number of ice cubes you fill the blender. Seven (7) is one (1) ice cube too many, thus the number shall be six (6), and six (6) alone.

Now you must get a banana. Be sure to peel the banana the right way, from the bottom up. I would not recommend making the smoothie without following this crucial step. Put the innards of the banana in the blender with the six (6) ice cubes.

Grab an apple. Doesn’t matter if its red or green, or yellow or a mixture of both. Just as long as its not brown. Or wormy. No one likes worms in their famous fruit smoothies. Here, you have a choice on how you do this, but I would recommend putting the apple in the blender in pieces as opposed to just throwing the whole thing in there. I prefer to use my handy dandy knock off apple wedger (here’s the real original product from years ago) to cut the apple into eight (8) nifty wedges without the core. Or you can just use a regular knife and cut the apple up by hand. Put the pieces in the blender with the banana innards and six (6) ice cubes.

Look in your freezer for your bag of frozen strawberries. Or if its the season, try looking in your fridge for your fresh hand-picked strawberries. Place five (5) (not six (6)!) strawberries in the blender with the six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, and eight (8) apple wedges.

Now open your refrigerator and take out your orange juice. At least that is where I hope you store your orange juice. That is where I store mine. I would imagine if might taste pretty nasty if you kept it anywhere else for any length of time. Pour the orange juice into the blender with the six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, eight (8) apple wedges, and five (5) strawberries until it fills about three-fourths (3/4) the amount of blender already filled. Note: this is not three-fourths (3/4) of the entire blender, but instead three-fourths (3/4) the amount of space already taken up in the blender by the six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, eight (8) apple wedges, and five (5) strawberries.

Put the blender on its stand, ensuring that it is fully situated in its base and ready for operation.

Lastly, turn on the blender. If your blender has an Ice Crush feature, I would recommend using it at this point to crush up the six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, eight (8) apple wedges, five (5) strawberries and orange juice. At some point when you feel that the blender is ready, you can try putting it on Smoothie mode, and let it run.

If the blender freezes up and does not spin the crushed six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, eight (8) apple wedges, five (5) strawberries and orange juice, turn the blender off. Try shaking the blender and put it back on its stand. Turn the blender back on again. If this continues to happen repeatedly, try adding more orange juice in the blender along with the six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, eight (8) apple wedges, and five (5) strawberries.

Let the blender run for a couple minutes on the Smoothie setting. Once the six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, eight (8) apple wedges, five (5) strawberries and orange juice seem like they are sufficiently smoothieized, get out your favorite LOTR goblet and pour the smoothie made up of six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, eight (8) apple wedges, five (5) strawberries and orange juice into the awesome collectable.

Finally, sit back, kick up your feet and enjoy this awesome and famous fruit smoothie made up of six (6) ice cubes, banana innards, eight (8) apple wedges, five (5) strawberries, and orange juice in a LOTR goblet. You’ll be thanking me all summer long.

P.S. A LOTR goblet is purely optional, if you have another drinking recepticle you would prefer to use, you have my permission to utilize such a lower form of recipticles if you so choose.